20 dumb questions Banff tour operators hear on the job

It could be all that fresh mountain air. Or maybe it's the altitude, a different time zone or even jet lag.

Otherwise there's no excuse for what makes tourists ask the dumbest questions.

There are some real gems, and it happens all the time. Just ask the patient and good-natured folks who make a living showing tourists around Banff National Park.

Some of them will tell you that summer is the silliest season for tour operators. That's when travellers from around the globe descend on Banff National Park for their trip of a lifetime. They're ecstatic about being amid mountains and glaciers, and stoked about spotting a bear, elk or moose. And they wonder just how we live up here in the Great White North.

"We get a broader range of people (in summer)," says Daymon Miller, general manager of Discover Banff Tours. "They're coming from a broad range of urban centres with generally no concept of the wilderness."

It's not much different at Banff Adventures Unlimited, where Tanya Semos is general manager.

"People are ridiculous . . . but it makes our job fun. We're starting a book," she says, guffawing at the tales her colleagues bring back to the office.

When the speak-before-thinking zinger is uttered, tour operators try to have a little fun, Miller says, without embarrassing them.

Stu Back, director of in-resort services for Banff-Lake Louise Tourism sent a list of "unusual" questions compiled over the past few years. He underscored, that like anyone who deals with the public, it can be trying:

"The answers our professional counselling staff provided to these unusual questions are testament to the depth of knowledge and patience required to assist visitors who are often tired and confused on arrival to our destination."

From an unofficial survey of Banff tour operators, here are the top 20 outrageous questions, some with answers in case you've wondered the same thing. As for the rest, well, they stand on their own.

1. Are the animals with collars tame? (These animals have been fitted with tagged collars because they have had incidents with people. It is important to stay a safe distance away from wildlife.)

2. We are going into British Columbia. Do we need to change our money into Euros?

3. Can we drive our car onto a glacier anywhere? (Not to our knowledge, but you might enjoy a trip on the Ice Explorer across the Columbia Icefields.)

4. Do we need snow tires or chains to drive to Lake Louise in July?

5. Where are the igloos and the Eskimos?

6. If the Columbia Icefield melts before we get there, can we do a different excursion?

7. Can you see polar bears at the Columbia Icefield?

8. Can I walk around P.E.I. in a day?

9. Can I get from Vancouver to Toronto by driving in a day?

10. At what elevation do the deer turn to elk?

11. How much does that mountain weigh?

12. Is this all natural?

13. While working at the (Banff) Gondola on a rainy day I was asked to turn the fog off at the top so they could see."

14. While working at the Gondola, I got asked when we release the animals so they can start feeding them. I had to remind them that this wasn't a petting zoo, the animals are wild and come out when they please -- and please don't feed them."

15. Where's that place where I can see the bear in the cage? Can I get a photo with him?

16. If I see a bear when I'm hiking, can I just keep walking past it?

17. Can you guarantee wildlife sightings?

18. Where is the rocky mountain?

19. What's the best trail to take a bike on to see a cougar?

20. Where are the animals kept at night?

Bonus Question: Where can I find a wife?